Shackles Team from Riverz! tt's me in yellow!
9:37 PM.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas tree at Grandma's place... very cozy and nice feeling..
11:15 PM.
valarie and i at paragon's christmas tree..
11:14 PM.
my cousin and i at my cousin's wedding!
11:13 PM.
us and our shoes!proud owners!
11:12 PM.
my half done shoes..very nice right!! i painted them different colours and sewed on lace and ribbon and put on other trinkets..hoho.
11:12 PM.
this are jianning's shoes. she got very lazy and wanted to slack so that's all she came up with..ha.
11:11 PM.
my girls and i went to jianning's house to design our sch shoes...this is kaiyin's.. i helped her draw the cow and the bee..ha.
11:09 PM.
one of the days last week when my sec sch frens ( my darling girls!) and i met for a movie : open season. ha. its a lame show. but i like cartoons.
11:08 PM.
paul and joe organizer!!! free from female magazine! i bought it just for the organizer..heh.
11:07 PM.
my loot this Christmas! :)
11:06 PM.
It's Christmas again!! my favorite time of the year... but i am always barely making it in time to write my christmas cards, and buy all the presents...this year lots of things are different.. nostalgia sets in at times, of unforgotten memories and the warm fluttery feeling that used to be around..but nonetheless, its Christmas, buying presents and christmas cards are just ways of letting ppl know they are not forgotten and they are appreciated and i don't mind not sleeping and being extra tired just to make someone's day. and each Christmas is special even if things get routine... because the main reason of Christmas is to reflect on God's love and share it to those who do not know God.
every christmas eve it seems to be my ritual that i have to stay up and not sleep and finish the gift wrapping and cards.. this year.. i have an extra batch of 50 teens to do sth for... i rolled up green foam paper with handwritten msgs and tied them with a red bow, and slotted 50 lollipops into the foam roll... i did this till 4 am in the morning and lugged myself to church on sunday..din manage to write finish half of my christmas cards! well all went well.. went shopping for the remaining gifts left-- gifts for dads are so hard to buy!!cos they have everything already and the things they want u cant afford. ha.
was so tired..had dinner with family at this turkish place at east point..the food was really not bad! at night i continued to wrap presents and make some for my friends..
every christmas i celebrate with my sec sch girls..and this year is no different..we met up at valarie's house and i cooked spaghetti for the girls..jianning brought potato salad and valarie who is a total dud at cooking just showed us where the pots and pans were. ahaa. vanessa was really late as usual..so she only showed up when the food was ready. ha. took a lot of photos..i'm yet to receive it from them.. vanessa is leaving for india 3oth dec!! and spending half of 2007 in INdia!! for attachment. i am gonna miss her. so yar.. we talked and talked and played this silly game that val likes-- it's so old school. ha. it's called aeroplane game. ha. it's a very cheapo board game, but quite entertaining la.. den we exchanged gifts.. each of us had sth for all of us...alot of accesories this time..ha. had a bracelet from van, earrings from val and a make up pouch and handmade keychain from jianning.. Kaiyin as usual is somewhere in thailand with the kids in pursuit of her dream t be mother theresa. ha. she missed christmas with us 2 years! i guess its for a greater cause. ha. i got jianning a top, a wallet for vanes, and sesame street undies and a handmade bracelet for valarie. it was fun.. we painted our nails and then i had to go off for my annual family christmas celebration at my ah ma's house.
i brought the movie- the Grinch.. my ritual every christmas. haa. watched The Grinch at my granny's place and eat alot alot of food. it was potluck this year.. and the cold weather outside made everything at home seem alot warmer. we exchanged presents!! i had a hard time getting my aunties, uncles, dad, mum, brothers and sister in law presents.. but i hope they all were happy.. i was really low on money.. squeezing out every last drop le. haa my uncle and family got my a really pretty swatch watch and my aunties got my a necklace with a very unique pendant from sk jewellery. (i like!!)
Teens Christmas last week went really super well..and i'm so proud of each teen that participated and those who brought their frens..it's great looking at little young hearts just wanting to know God and do their best for Him!
this year is coming to a close.. and i have to say that this year was really a very challenging one.. the kind of things that have happened. and i think the last half of the year kinda changed my life abit. i dunno.. i know there's sth in me that died, i guess. i just don't feel the same anymore. like there is no more love left to give. like an empty hollow shell. like a shrivelling leaf that has fallen off the tree. I just hope to find whatever i have lost. ppl not only say i've grown fatter. that one hurts me a little, but that's just cos i know i am really fatter cos i eat alot. that's my fault and i can't deny that.. haha.
but something that struck me was ppl said i looked alot sadder. last time i remember ppl characterized me as someone who was always smiling always joyful and always making other happy as well. all they saw was my smile. and i was happy that it was that way. that i could make ppl happy and i could really be so joyful even when deep inside i was really in shambles.
this period of time, ppl started to comment and tell others that i looked sad. my frens start to say behind that smile, they saw sadness. ppl close to me start to say that the glow in my eye has disappeared and become replaced with deep sorrow. when i knew that this christmas, i start to cry. i don't want to be that person that ppl see me now as. i lived to make ppl happy. now it seems like i don't know who i am, why i have let that sorrow show.
I pray God that You will give me joy this christmas. please help me know who I am in You. bring me back to the joy you gave me, heal those scars and stop the bleeding of sadness..restore me. restore my life, and my home.
okay i'm sorry to all for going onto such a dim subject at christmas..well.. to all my NUS frens, see ya all 28th for death note 2!thanks gladys and eugene for inviting us all to ur church concert that day!u danced great, gladys!and for the present, marie and gladys and eugene!!!to ALL..
Blessed Christmas! God loves you! and I do too!
9:53 PM.
Monday, December 11, 2006
oh ya. My exams are over!! haha.
yup. but i haven had rest since it ended. right after exam, marie, jia and i went to sim lim to get gladys' present- camera!! haha. she loved it. and then we went bugis to walk and shop, then we were so pooped...(old already sia.. no stamina to shop) then i went back to church for dance prac... dance prac everyday.. and saturday End of Year Concert (EOYC) went great. I love the dance SHACKLES, the song is so nice, and groovy, and the meaning of breaking off all strongholds and everything holding you down from the purpose you have in Christ, is so significant. It went super well. i din screw up!!! whhaha. yeah.
Thanks marie for coming!! it meant alot to me! :)
wah after the concert, rushed to angela ( my laopo)'s 21st birthday at changi fairy point chalet. she is just so artistic. i din take pictures of the place, (damn!i forgot!and i dun have enough memory in my phone). she decorated the place damn well, very classy, dark, mysterious, but abit occultic feeling.hahha. cos it was black and red theme. but it was great. I think she put alot of effort into the decorating..i was impressed. but i am always impressed at her arty-farty skills.
i am gonna be so busy this few weeks. christmas is no doubt my most favourite season, but it's also the busiest. Teens Christmas is gonna be a blast.. expecting alot of teens!! yeah!! k to all frens having holidays..have fun!!
10:08 PM.
wedding at marina mandarin... me and my da sao with a nice christmas tree.. great wedding dinner. ate alot.ha. and i had 2 bowls of sharks fin, 2 abalones and extra share of food, cos 3 ppl were missin from my table!!! HAHHAHA.
10:05 PM.
haha.i like this picture.
10:03 PM.
me and wileen before EOYC- end of year concert..my bimbo sista. other photos not sent to me yet. it was an explosive concert. Shackles went perfectly executed! Praise God! thanks marie, vanes and jianning for coming!
10:01 PM.
marie and i at gladys' 21st cum graduation cum farewell. candies and sweets was the theme, so we came as stripey candy canes. ha.
9:58 PM.
OTHNIEL
It's been 11 years. You'll be 16 this year. Sometimes I sit on the bus, thinking about you, thinking how life would be different without you, thinking how your presence would have made things better. Sometimes i sit in the silence, thinking of how smart you were, and how cute you were, how you loved Bon Jovi's Always, how you would sing out loud and jump on the bed. Thinking how you had so much faith, how you were fearless in the face of death, how you prayed, how you taught us to pray and believe when you were only five. You knew you were different, with your yellow eyes and unnaturally large stomach, a yellow tinge in your skin, but you stood through it all, countless times the needle passed through your skin, operations, and pain. I would think about how I should have spent all my time with you and love you and buy everything you want before your time with me ended. I think about if you were 16 this year, i would have to fend off all the girls who would be interested in you. If you were alive, you would be with me in youth ministry, and you would have a great voice, you would be a leader, you would lead worship, and you would inspire others with experiences beyond your years. You fuel me with your energy you left behind and gave me every inspiration to make me write the essays that won prizes, and run the races that were gruelling and tough but gave lightness to my every step.
Don't let me forget you, even when my skin starts to degenerate and wrinkles start to appear. Don't let me forget your strength in fragility, the strong grip of your tiny hand, the loud voice from your tiny frame. I will not forget you even if age catches up with me, even if my memory starts to fail and my vision starts to fade. I will not forget that you said," pray, pray." I will not forget that you fought every battle thrown at you.
I miss you my little brother. I will see you in heaven.
9:35 PM.
Friday, December 01, 2006
I can't wait till exams are over!! i've got so many things lined up, i'm just getting excited thinking about it. BAH. left eco and animal physio exam. i really no steam liao. somemore over this weekend i dun think got time to study then monday is exam le. WOOPS. and then ecology is like,cannot make it. half the module the notes i have not laid my eyes on b4.
lalala. it's CHristmas! my fav time of the year. i can't believe it's here again tho. time passes crazily fast. and i dun wanna think of my aging process as well.bah.. i am dreaming of a warm christmas in the cold rainy weather, just listening to lovely jazz christmas songs that really light up the house, warm the heart and just wanna sit back and enjoy a mug of hot chocloate with marshmallows... awww. i love christmas. but i spend the most at this time of the year too. damn. *sobs at the depleting money in account*
so many stuff been happening, sometimes i just wish life could be normal for abit. but yet i dun wan it to be normal normal boring. but i want it to happily exciting. ha. confusing?bah.
yeah quite excited abt END of year concert on the 9thdec! right after exams gonna launch into non stop dance practices for SHACKLES, nice dance. dun wanna screw it up. ha. those who read this,u're invited! BE THERE!!
yay!
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struggling
6:20 PM.