Look for God's Rainbow
Friday, October 21, 2005
morbidity to the maxi want to tell the whole world
all the thoughts and curses in my head
plagueing me, sinking me
I feel the surface of my being going weak
crumbling under the pressure
the insides being dug out and hardened like a stone
the world seems a crazy place
a life full of masquerades and fakes
its hard to believe that anything is real
faith seems to seep away to non-existence
this whirlwind uproots me, throws me, slams me
anywhere but in the eye of the storm
warmth, love, responsibility, respect
all sounds foreign to me
what is happiness? what is anything anymore?
simulated world of our own.
voices in my head
undescribable weight in my chest
the gasp of life when i wake up from a nightmare
clawing out of the mud buried over my head
feeling my heartbeat pound in my head
someone's chasing me
wants to kill me
someone wants to hurt me.
or change me.
Or is it me?
Hate. a powerful word. i hate the word hate.
scarred souls
shattered mirrors
broken families
violated bodies
cracked vase
withered flowers
mass destruction
massacre
why do we do this to ourselves?
humans are great at destroying things. we destroy others, destroy ourselves, destroy anything that can be destroyed. we think we are capable to love and care. we do more harm instead.
Father, teach us how to live.
"forgive them for they know not what they do"
10:56 PM.