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Friday, October 21, 2005

morbidity to the max

i want to tell the whole world

all the thoughts and curses in my head

plagueing me, sinking me

I feel the surface of my being going weak

crumbling under the pressure

the insides being dug out and hardened like a stone

the world seems a crazy place

a life full of masquerades and fakes

its hard to believe that anything is real

faith seems to seep away to non-existence

this whirlwind uproots me, throws me, slams me

anywhere but in the eye of the storm

warmth, love, responsibility, respect

all sounds foreign to me

what is happiness? what is anything anymore?

simulated world of our own.

voices in my head

undescribable weight in my chest

the gasp of life when i wake up from a nightmare

clawing out of the mud buried over my head

feeling my heartbeat pound in my head

someone's chasing me

wants to kill me

someone wants to hurt me.

or change me.

Or is it me?

Hate. a powerful word. i hate the word hate.

scarred souls
shattered mirrors
broken families
violated bodies
cracked vase
withered flowers
mass destruction
massacre
why do we do this to ourselves?
humans are great at destroying things. we destroy others, destroy ourselves, destroy anything that can be destroyed. we think we are capable to love and care. we do more harm instead.

Father, teach us how to live.
"forgive them for they know not what they do"